that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
