Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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