I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize