My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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