i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
