I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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