You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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