If i come over, it means nothing
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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