R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
