no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
