just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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