She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
