I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
vagina is talking i cant
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
