nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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