Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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