I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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