Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize