just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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