is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
