Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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