Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You're like the curious george of whores
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize