bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The power of my boobs compel you
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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