I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
