We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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