Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize