Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize