with your own penis?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
