Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
