I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
is wine microwaveable?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
