he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
