it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
