I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
