so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
