Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
