Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize