Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
