Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
