i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
