we're blogging at a bar
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize