just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
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