I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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