just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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