Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
