i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
