end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Randomize
