it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize