I'm really into asian looking animals
She announced her abortion via fbk
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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