Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
