i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You made out with two different species that night
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
