i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
