I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
