I feel like abortions should bother me more
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Pants are for mortals
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
