Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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