So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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