I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
don't judge my taste in strippers
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize