I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
