Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize