You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
