I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Its about making memories worth repressing
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
