There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
