Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
