No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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