shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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