oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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