Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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