I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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