He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
