I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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