I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
