Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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