i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
