i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize