Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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