Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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