True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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