**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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