Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
