obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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