i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
